open doors once closed // leah

[asahria ryek']

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:5px; padding-top:5px; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px; background-color: #575757; border-radius: 100px 0px 100px 0px;] asahria ryek "Im nothing more than a chalk outline" Asahria bit her lip as an uncomfortable growl settled in her stomach. How long had it been since she’d last had something to eat. With one hand holding her stomach she looked to the small silver watch located on her other wrist dismayed when she realized the time. She hadn’t woken for breakfast this morning and somehow she had managed to miss both breakfast and lunch, she hadn’t realized how long she’d been out on the grounds aimlessly wandering. This seemed to be happening more often than not when she left the palace on her own. Asahria had been spending a majority of her time by herself and it never failed that her wandering thoughts managed to get the best of her. Now here she was with most the day behind her. She frowned in dismay thinking of the piles of homework which awaited her; she knew her parchment was still scrawled across the desk untouched just as the bottle of ink sat there unopened. Falling back into routine was not as easy as she thought it might be she had barely even managed to scrape the surface. Wrapping her leopard print scarf tighter around her neck she readied herself from the biting cold wind. Sheltered beneath the trees it hadn’t had the chance to bother her, but now that she was out in the open air she could feel the harsh bite. Burying her hands in the pockets of her red jeans, she lowered her face from the cold and started the trek back to the palace. It was probably best that she had left now as the sun was long past the tree line and beginning to sink below the horizon. It was getting dark quickly and though she knew the palace was safe, she also knew that there were other creatures in the palace that could be frightening. Charlton himself had been a werewolf. The thought made her shudder and quicken her pace until she found herself on the expansive marble floors of the palace. As her stomach grumbled once more Asahria was beginning to feel really guilty for missing dinner. She looked sadly at the great oak doors that led to the banquet hall with disappointment. She was going to be nearly starved by the time breakfast came around tomorrow. Walking towards the staircase she noticed a door off to the right and suddenly she remembered the kitchens. She had used to sneak down to the kitchens all the time for a midnight snack. As long as things hadn’t changed she realized she might still know the way in. Glancing around cautiously Asahria hurried towards the door, hoping that no one would see her creeping inside, she was careful to pad softly on the floor so her boots would not cause a resounding echo. Closing the door behind her she was almost beside herself with the idea that she might find something to eat. The house elves always had the tastiest treats. A smile was reflected on her features as soon as the painting came into view, the same vegetables she had remembered from before. It was nice to know that she still knew the ins and outs of this place, even if she could no longer say it about the people. Raising her index finger she lightly tickled the carrot and waited for it to turn into a handle. As soon as it revealed herself she quickly pulled open the passageway and let herself inside. She was met with so many delicious smells that she felt her mouth begin to water immediately. She was so hungry she wasn’t even sure where she should begin. Asahria was barely able to bring herself back to a normal state before the house elves were surrounding her, chattering delightedly, and offering up plates of numerous odds and ends. She grabbed a small pastry from one of the elves, a cheese Danish, and made her way over to a stool beside the counter. The first bite was delicious, but she knew that she would need something more substantial. Unable to pull herself away from the sweet pastry she finished it before she could make any request. ”Can I get a glass of milk and something more substantial… she started, Some potatoes and a slice of ham maybe? Tags: -- Leah | Words: -- 717 | Credit: 156zcm of Caution Notes: Hope it works :DD and her outfit

[leah marie gore]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away
[atrb=width,240] The loudest of growls escaped from the little blonde’s stomach as she sat crossed legged on her bed reading a book. It had been days since she had eaten a real meal, only picking on little bits of food here and there to make it look like she wasn’t starving herself. The truth was, Leah felt to ill to really eat anything. Anytime she ate food, she felt the need to vomit immediately after, so she saw the only solution to be not to eat anything at all. Honestly, how could her body expect her to eat when her heart was so utterly broken into a million and one pieces on the ground of her dormitory? Rue had been ignoring her letters. All Leah wanted was a chance to explain why she had been gone for so long. It was her fault; she could never deny that fact. Her mother had passed away and she stayed in England with her father for an entire year, never once writing to her boyfriend to tell him what was going on with her. It seemed rather confusing to her now, but at the time she did what she had thought was best. Her cat, Lola, hopped onto her bed and began kneading her paws into Leah’s thigh. At least someone still wants me Leah thought as she closed her book and placed it to the side. Her fingers scratched at Lola’s ear, and Lola’s eyes closed. That was, until Leah’s stomach let out another growl. Leah had decided to skip the lunch feast for the 4th night in a row. Now that she knew Rue was around, she couldn’t bare to allow him to see her in this state. She was thin, her collarbones and ribs so much more prominent in comparison to her normal, curvy build. She had the darkest of circle under her eyes, probably from weeks of makeup she had yet to remove and the sleepless nights she’d been having for the past month since her return. Leah’s blue eyes moved to her desk, pictures of her and Rue in frames, looking as happy as they had ever been. What the hell was wrong with her? She loved the kid, right? Then why was she sitting here moping around when she could be trying to win him back. Leah stood up abruptly, sending Lola into a tizzy since she had fallen asleep in her owner’s lap. She was going to get cleaned up, get some food, and get her life back together. She needed Rue in her life, and he had found enough for her when he had done wrong. Now it was her turn and she wasn’t going to give up until he was hers again. First things first, she cleaned up her face, scrubbing away the weeks of makeup and the sleeplessness away. The dark circles were still quite prominent, so she quickly put on makeup to try and cover up the flaws. She struggled to find an outfit that would look decent on her now abnormally thin frame and settled for a sweater shirtdress, black leggings, and heels. Leah simply could not live without her heels (: Once she deemed herself appropriate enough to be seen in public, she left her dormitory. First things first, she needed to get some food into her stomach. If it growled any louder, she feared it would try and jump out and find some food itself. The lunch feast was long over, so she had no choice but to go the kitchens. The last time she had gone there, it had been awfully late and she had disturbed their sleep. To say that they were upset was a bit of an understatement. It hadn’t taken her long to reach the portrait that hid the entrance to the kitchens. She tickled the carrot, and the handle appeared, allowing her to finally gain entrance and, probably, some food. The house elves were rushing around, getting food for the dinner feast ready, but also serving a blonde that Leah spotted out of the corner of her eyes. Can I get a glass of milk and something more substantial…Some potatoes and a slice of ham maybe? Leah knew that voice anywhere. Leah pushed herself between the elves, making her way to the only real girl friend she had in this school. Leah smiled at Asa and turned to the closest elf near by who had heard Asa’s order. ”Can I have the same?” she asked, before taking a seat near to her friend. ”The beast has awoken,” she joked, throwing her arms up in the air and striking a pose. Asa had to know what was going on. It had been ages since the two of them had talked, which simply wasn’t normal.	[atrb=width,140] words , seven hundred ninety-eight tagged , asahria outfit , outfit notes , hope this isn’t too poor. i kind of rambled on a bit
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[asahria ryek']

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:5px; padding-top:5px; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px; background-color: #575757; border-radius: 100px 0px 100px 0px;] asahria ryek "Im nothing more than a chalk outline" She was still busy licking the sweet cream cheese filling from her fingers, when a voice nearby made her realize that she was no longer alone. That voice hadn’t carried the anxious, high-pitched, tone which was so recognizable from the elves. Her bright blue eyes went wide and an immediate smile stole across her features as the sudden memory of a petite blonde came to mind. She didn’t even have to see the girl’s features to know who it was taking a seat beside her. Leah!she exclaimed, her voice ringing with excitement. She had barely even given the girl time to finish her statement before she had all but yelled in excitement. A bubbly laugh escaped her lips as she watched Leah stretch in exaggeration striking an unlikely pose. Tell me about it. I feel like my stomach is home to a dragon with all that rumbling going on in there. Patting her stomach with feigned worry, she smiled, though she did hope the food would come out soon, she was famished. Even with so few words between them, Asahria felt as though there was no tension between them. Just having Leah in the same room was enough to lift some of the weight from her shoulders, as though things were piecing themselves together simply because of her presence. Of everyone she had ever encountered in this school Leah was the only one she felt truly comfortable with. She was likely the only one Asahria had ever confided in, save Charlton, though that was to a different end entirely. It had been so long since the two of them had spoken. The thought of the distance between them sent a twinge of guilt through Asahria. It had been a lengthy stretch of time since she had been on Beauxbatons and she hadn’t spoken to Leah once in the entirety of her absence. There was also the fact that she hadn’t sought her out since her return. Here she had been pitying herself because she had no one to turn to, when the obvious answer was sitting right here beside her. Her guilty conscience lasted only a few fleeting moments though, because the important thing was that the two had found themselves coincidentally reunited as if it were serendipity. It’s been far too long. The fact that I can’t tell you what you had for dinner last night is kind of a problem. Asahria said pointedly. To anyone else that line may have seemed borderline stalker, but in this relationship it was nothing out of the ordinary. There had been a time after all when she had known everything about Leah, well most everything anyways. Seriously though, how have you been? Being back in her company made her feel less wary about the events that had passed within the last year, Leah was someone she knew she could trust. The hurt was still there, but now there was something that could make it better. She didn’t want to talk about her problems right now; she just wanted to catch up with an old friend. She swung her boots up on to the stool, balancing cross-legged as she watched the elves and waited for Leah’s response. She wasn’t sure what she was hungrier for… the long awaited food or the lengthy conversation she knew was coming. Asahria smiled graciously when the knobby elf set the plate before her, but waited to eat until it had set a similar plate in front of Leah. She drank greedily from her glass before picking at the potatoes and cutting into the meat. It seemed silly that she hadn’t just waited for the dinner they were preparing, but she felt as though she were withering away with each passing moment. Eating was long overdue. Glancing over at her friend, she noticed that she was still petite as ever, but she seemed different, smaller maybe. There were things that never changed as she was rocking a fabulous pair of heels as always, but she seemed slighter. Has everything been alright? she pressed a little further, venturing past their casual meet and greet questionnaire. Tags: -- Leah | Words: -- 687 | Credit: 156zcm of Caution Notes: It was lovely! I certainly ramble, so no foul!outfit

[leah marie gore]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away
[atrb=width,240] Asahria Ryek. At least there was still someone here in this forsaken place who would still talk to her. It seemed like when she had left, so did all of her former acquaintances. People she had once thought were friends had joined TEAM RUE in all this drama, and Leah didn’t even know there were sides to be chosen. She screwed up; she got that. She also understood that things had needed to change. She completely changed appearance, losing her jet-black hair and dying it blonde. She struggled for weeks to catch up on her classes so she wouldn’t be held back once again. It wasn’t like Leah didn’t know she was a screw up and ruined her life. Bottom line is only her true friends cared enough to learn what was really going on with her and to try and understand what she was going through. This wasn’t a phase: Leah was genuinely messed up right now. It had, however, been forever since the two of them had spoken. Leah was ashamed to even admit that. The two blondes who had once been so close found themselves reunited in the kitchens of all places. They had always seen each other in passing, but never really got the chance to talk. Guess that was a disadvantage of trying to get her life back in order. Asa commented on the fact that she did not remember what Leah had eaten the night before, and Leah looked down in embarrassment. This was terrible. People probably thought she was an anorexic or something. Her appearance and sudden weight loss probably didn’t help their opinions. ”I’m ashamed I’ve let myself get this bad. Who the hell knew family issues and a relationship could make you spiral out of control?” she answered, placing and elbow on the table and resting her chin atop her hand. How was she doing? Leah didn’t even know how to answer that question. Truthfully, she was a wreck who seriously needed mental help, but she didn’t want to make herself sound horrible. She was trying to reform herself and talking herself down was not going to help with that. Luckily for her, she was saved by the plate of food. Asahria seemed distracted enough by the meal and, the moment her nose got a wiff of the food, Leah was lost in it. She immediately dug in, eating her food as quickly as she possibly could. She looked like a gluttonous pig, but she was so hungry. When she had looked down at her plate and realized her food was already gone, she blushed. She called over the closest house elf and placed another order. ”Could I have some more? And make it a bigger plate, please? I’m famished.” There was the question again. Leah sighed and turned her blue eyes to the ceiling. ”Everything has been crap,” she answered her friend, finally turning her attention back to the blonde and deciding that there was no longer a need to avoid the question. Asa is the only one who genuinely cared about her right now, so who better to seek help from. ”My mom died, I left for a year, and come back to find that Rue wants nothing to do with me. Well, he’s acting like it. He’s been ignoring my letters.” She hated to spill it all out like that, but she supposed that’s what happened when it was held in for too long.	[atrb=width,140] words , seven hundred twelve tagged , asahria outfit , outfit notes ,
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[asahria ryek']

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:5px; padding-top:5px; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px; background-color: #575757; border-radius: 100px 0px 100px 0px;] asahria ryek "Im nothing more than a chalk outline" ”I’m ashamed I’ve let myself get this bad. Who the hell knew family issues and a relationship could make you spiral out of control?” The words from Leah’s lips set Asahria slightly on edge, not because she was uncomfortable, but because she was worried for her friend. It seemed that Leah of all people had always had everything together. It was obvious that she was going through something drastic, her appearance only added to it. She did look thinner, but the thing that stuck out the most was the change of hair. It had once been dark, but she had let it switch to blonde, much more gentle a color. It just seemed so uncanny to see Leah out of her element like this, of course there had been things in the past, but they had been minor. Of the two of them Asahria had always considered herself to be the one constantly in reckless abandon. She supposed she still was, but after everything she had managed to pull herself back together. In all honesty, she was trying to leave the past behind her. The quarrel with her family, but mostly the heartbreak with Charlton, it was not something that she could hold onto forever. After all it was said that, pain was inevitable and suffering was optional. Asahria couldn’t imprison herself in her suffering forever. She had to pick herself up and move on, she would have another chance at love one day. She bit her lip, realizing that thinking about him still hurt. Honestly, she felt as though it would always hurt. Right now though, Asahria had found control when Leah seemed to have lost it. Well they’ve never done a very job of keeping me stable… Asahria admitted, frowning. The food seemed a needed distraction for them both. Everything on the plate tasted absolutely delightful. For such a simplistic meal, Asahria felt as though it was fit for kings. One could expect to feel that way after missing so many meals, any type of food would have likely served the same purpose. She finished quickly, and dragged a fork needlessly across the plate as she waited for her friend to finish. She was hungry, though she wasn’t sure if she wanted more or not. Asahria smiled when Leah blushed at her empty plate before calling over a house elf to ask for another plate. Wait! Asahria chimed to the elf who was quickly carrying itself to its duties.Could I get another plate as well and some more milk? She smiled as the small elf carried on, before turning back to her friend. I’m glad you order another. I didn’t want to seem like I’m stuffing myself, but I’m starved. I couldn’t tell you how many meals I’ve missed. ”Everything has been crap.” Asahria sat quietly as Leah turned her eyes to the ceiling, getting ready to share the extent of her problems. ”My mom died, I left for a year, and come back to find that Rue wants nothing to do with me. Well, he’s acting like it. He’s been ignoring my letters.” What smile was left on Asahria’s lips fell as the Leah spoke. She understood the genuine pain that came with these things. I’m so sorry, Leah. she whispered softly, as it was the first thing that came to mind. She had clearly needed the time to get her stuff together and it was to be understood that she was hurting. You need space. As would have anyone. But Rue… I don’t understand, why would he be ignoring you? The two had been so close it seemed unreal that Rue would avoid Leah, especially now when she needed him most. Do I need to go find him for you? Asahria said, half joking, but she really would if Leah needed it. I’m so sorry that I didn’t realize before, she added sadly, But tell me about Rue. Tell me how I can help. Tags: -- Leah | Words: -- 691 | Credit: 156zcm of Caution Notes: outfit

[leah marie gore]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away
[atrb=width,240] Well they’ve never done a very job of keeping me stable… Leah simply could not help but laugh. These two girls never seemed to have any luck, especially as of late. Just when everything seemed so wonderful and perfect BAM! Life shows up and crashes the party. When Asa had ordered another plate of food as well, Leah smiled and placed a dramatic hand on her chest. ”Thank goodness you ordered too. It makes me not feel so bad. I’m sure you haven’t skipped as many meals as I have these past few days,” she admitted, shamefully. It was true that Leah had always been the more stable person. Bad things could happen to her and she would just shrug and paint for hours until the pain went away. Her paint brushes and easel were not enough to fix this problem though. This was a problem entirely of her own doing and only she, herself, could fix this mess she had made. Asa apologized, which Leah appreciated. At least someone seemed to care that she was hurt and in pain these days. Most people thought she was sick or starving herself for attention. Seriously people? Because Leah wanted everyone to think of her as a sick anorexic whose boyfriend hated her…idiots. I don’t understand, why would he be ignoring you? Do I need to go find him for you? A small laugh escaped past her lips. Asahria always knew what to say to lighten the mood a bit. It was quite a sensitive topic, so Leah appreciated her friend trying to make her feel better. ”Unfortunately, no one has really seen him around as of late. I spotted him in the Dining Hall the other night and he completely ignored me. I ran out of there as fast as I could,” Leah said, nibbling on her lower lip as she remembered the night. To say she was embarrassed was a bit of an understatement. The look on his face was almost of hatred; he didn’t even know what was going on… Asa pressed on to gather more details on how she could help. The best thing Leah could do was just open up to her friend and tell her the whole truth. If any one was going to listen and be honest with Leah, it was going to be her best friend. The house elf arrived with their food and placed them before them on the table. Gently, she pushed the plate to the side, suddenly losing her appetite for the moment as she struggled with a way to explain what had happened. ”I never told him what happened,” she began, twiddling her thumbs in her lap. "When I returned home to England after Mum died, my dad was a wreck. I guess I shouldn’t have expected him to be okay, but I also hadn’t expected him to be so bad. He was locked in his room everyday leading up to the funeral and every day after. He wouldn’t eat and he refused to sleep in their bedroom. I was so worried about him, that I had completely forgotten to tell Rue what was going on. I never said ‘goodbye’ and I never gave him an explanation of where I was and when I was going to come home. After a while, my messed up mind began to tell myself that Rue was better off without me. Heaven forbid something like what happened to my mother happened to me; I didn’t want Rue to act the way my father was. I literally convinced myself that allowing Rue to move on was best. I was home for an entire year, went to Hogwarts, and lived with my father like I was the parent and he was the child.” Leah looked up at her friend and shrugged her shoulders. ”I think Rue hates me for what I did to him, which I don’t blame him. But all I want to do I explain and he isn’t even giving me the chance to do that.” It was a lot to pour out on her best friend at once, but these were all the thoughts and feelings Leah had kept locked up for so long. Finally, someone was willing to listen to her and possibly give her some advice.	[atrb=width,140] words , seven hundred sixteen tagged , asahria outfit , outfit notes ,
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[asahria ryek']

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:5px; padding-top:5px; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px; background-color: #575757; border-radius: 100px 0px 100px 0px;] asahria ryek "Im nothing more than a chalk outline" Asahria let a small smile grace her lips when Leah laughed in response to her words. Looking at their situations from an outside perspective they hardly seemed laughable, but she was glad that the two of them were able to at least find some reason for laughter. Laughter was something that had been missing from her life for some time. Back at home she hadn’t even been met with a heartwarming smile, though that had been expected. The grief hadn’t allowed the room for smiles and laughter. Even here back at Beauxbaton’s she’d been having a hard time. It was hard to smile when so many of the places were tied to bittersweet memories, Charlton was everywhere, but then at the same time she knew he was gone. Hearing the gentle laugh from Leah’s lips was the most heartwarming thing she’d encountered in weeks. At least they had each other. I’m seriously starved. I’m glad you ordered too, because I wasn’t sure if I should. She laughed, digging graciously into her plate, while offering the house elf a nod of thanks before it hurried off into the kitchens, busy starting the preparations for the evening feast. The important thing is that we have food now. As bad as it may sound I’m glad we both were hungry enough to wander down here. Otherwise this meeting may not have happened. She knew that she shouldn’t have prolonged eating for so long, but she hadn’t even been sure she wanted to go to the dining hall. Who would she sit with? They were silly queries she knew, but she hadn’t been comfortable back here yet. Asahria still needed to ease into things. She figured it’d been a while since Leah had eaten anything as well; the girl really did look slimmer. Whatever it was that was bothering her seemed to have really taken a toll on her. She picked at her ham with her fingers as Leah spoke, so maybe it wasn’t sanitary, but she didn’t really care. The ham was delicious and it still managed to taste good on her fingers. Now that she mentioned it, Asahria couldn’t really recall having seen Rue around lately. That of course could have been sue to the fact that she’d been pent up in her dorm room, but even still she managed to catch him in the halls at least occasionally. It seemed odd to her that Rue had avoided her, knowing how close they had once been, but she didn’t interrupt as she let Leah continue to speak. She could understand the fact that Leah hadn’t stuck around. She’d want a clear path out too had she’d been met with a similar situation. Her smile faltered when Leah pushed her newly acquired food to the side, as though she had been met with a sudden loss of appetite. Then there it was all in a rush, everything that had been plaguing the poor girls mind. Suddenly Asahria fe;t very heartbroken for the girl, having been in her place before, but then she had also been in Rue’s. I am so sorry Leah. All of that sounds so stressful, but it’s important that you were there for your dad. While he may not have said it I know he appreciated you being there. You couldn’t have left him alone and sometimes things happened. It’s not like you were intentional in not speaking to Rue. It may take time but things will work out Asahria said reaching out to touch Leah’s shoulder. I know Rue cares for you and he will show it again… It will take time. It took me time after I lost Charlton. But this is something important. You remember when Charlton was gone and I was an absolute wrek… She started, speaking of the time Charlton had been in a car wreck. He hadn’t intentionally cut her off as she thought he might have. He hadn’t even remembered her for a time. That had been the hardest thing to experience, having the one you love forget you. Even thinking about it brought tears to her eyes. This is the same, you just need to let Rue know that you weren’t avoiding him as he likely thinks right now. If you can’t get through have somebody else do it, but you two clearly need to talk Tags: -- Leah | Words: -- 725 | Credit: 156zcm of Caution Notes: outfit Sorry it took so long D:

[leah marie gore]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away
[atrb=width,240] The laughter hadn’t completely cured Leah of her grief, but it had been enough to quell the sad thoughts for a few moments. It was nice to finally have someone who understood what was going through. Leah had turned to one of her housemates for help and he turned her to his brother, who was little help at all as of right now. Boys didn’t seem to understand what she was going through and how much it physically hurt to think about Rue. Yeah, physically. If his face ever popped into her mind, her heart felt like it was on fire and her stomach fluttered so much a wave of nausea would overcome her. To the naked eye, it would appear as though she was over exaggerating. To someone who had ever had their heart broken before, it was the normal signs of missing the person you loved the most. Asahria had her own run in with heartbreak on more than on occasion. The thing is, Leah felt about Asa and Charlton as Asa felt about Rue and Leah. If they were meant to be together, it would happen whether life got in the way or not. Leah was just tired of waiting for him to come around. She just wanted to hold him, kiss him, tell him how sorry she was for hurting him… Her thoughts were interrupted with the sound of apologies. Oh right. Leah had run into Asahria down here. Funny how your thoughts could sometimes make you oblivious and forgetful to reality. I am so sorry Leah. All of that sounds so stressful, but it’s important that you were there for your dad. While he may not have said it I know he appreciated you being there. You couldn’t have left him alone and sometimes things happened. It’s not like you were intentional in not speaking to Rue. It may take time but things will work out. I know Rue cares for you and he will show it again… It will take time. It took me time after I lost Charlton. But this is something important. Did I mention how much Leah loved having Asa for a friend? It was for reasons like this; she had pretty much summed up Leah’s entire dilemma in what would have taken several conversations with Sampson to explain. A small tear rolled down Leah’s cheek, but she quickly wiped it away. Asahria continued to shower Leah with her experience with Charlton and her advice for dealing with it all, and Leah appreciated every single word. ”I know he still loves me. If I pass him in the halls, I see how his eyes light up when he sees me, but he chooses to ignore me rather than give me a chance to explain. For once, I think I broke his heart more than he ever broke mine,” Leah said, running a hand through her blonde hair and scrunching a chunk of it into her fist. Sometimes she just wanted to rip her hair out because she was so frustrated. ”Do you think I should give him a few more days? Leah asked her friend, turning her blue eyes up to her and ignoring the elf who had brought them a their seconds. ”I’m just tired of waiting around for him. I want to grab him and slap him sometimes because I just want to get through to him. I want him to know how much I love him…I really thought things were going to go perfect this time. Not like my last relationship which turned into a 6 month marriage and left me widowed at sixteen.” She was ranting and she knew it, but that was what happened when one left the feelings bottled up for too long. ”Did you every feel like you were going to marry Charlton? Maybe not now, but sometime in the future?” Leah asked. This was the first time she was ever going to admit to someone just how much she loved Rue. Even Rue didn’t know this much.	[atrb=width,140] words , six seventy four tagged , asahria outfit , outfit notes , FINALLY! lol
[cs=2] TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

[asahria ryek']

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:5px; padding-top:5px; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px; background-color: #575757; border-radius: 100px 0px 100px 0px;] asahria ryek "Im nothing more than a chalk outline" As the conversation turned more serious, Asahria found that her appetite was diminishing. Everything that Leah was experiencing right now was hitting so close to home, their situations were not unalike. Being in her friends presence was proving to be both pleasant and wearisome. She hadn’t been expecting to have to think about him so soon, not with him out of the picture as he was. Yet here he was his memory reflected in every word that Leah spoke. Biting tentatively at her lip she pushed her pate away from her, ignoring the lumps of potatoes which lay there untouched. ”I know he still loves me. If I pass him in the halls, I see how his eyes light up when he sees me, but he chooses to ignore me rather than give me a chance to explain. For once, I think I broke his heart more than he ever broke mine,” Asahria hated to admit the fact that it was possible, because if she did she knew she’d have to accept that truth herself. She wasn’t sure what was worse, knowing she’d lost him or knowing that she’d been the one to break him. It was possible that her and Leah were in the same place, both their hearts torn and confused. Forgive me because I know this may sound dim and it may be the last thing you want to hear right now, but at least you have the opportunity to recognize he still cares. Her words broke off, quiet at the end. She was sure that Leah’s heart would explode in pain every time she saw Rue, but at least she had that. She had the simple pleasure of knowing that at least her presence could bring some light to his day. He might not be willing to accept it now, but Asahria was sure that he would come to understand it later. You can’t escape the things you love – you’d always find your way back. Asahria knew as well as any, no matter how much her friends had pressed against it she’d never been able to avoid Charlton for long. She didn’t have the strength to avoid him. She was addicted and she knew it. I’m going to admit something to you right now and it hurts because hearing you say it… I think I’ve messed up too. Her words were queit. Though she knew Leah would be the last judge, it still hurt to admit it to herself. Charlton had left her so many times and part of her wondered if it had hurt him as much as this was hurting her. I’m scared I’ve lost Charlton, for good and it was all my fault. I didn’t tell him where I’d gone when I went home either and now he’s gone and for all I know he’s not coming back. She felt tears brimming in her eyes, but as Leah had moments before she turned to brush them away. She didn’t want to appear weak. You though, have Rue here. The simple fact that he brightens when you’re around is something Leah. I can’t tell you how much I wanted to hate Charlton every time he came back, not having said a word to me. I wanted to hate him, Leah. I really did. It was so foreign speaking these words, as it was something she’d never told anyone. She had always been fickle with her emotions, but now it seemed Leah needed her more than she needed her privacy. Perhaps they could have what she and Charlton had never been able to maintain. If he truly cares, like you think he does, he won’t be able to stay away forever. I never could and neither will he. She really hoped that what she was saying were true. Leah didn’t deserve another heartbreak, the first had left her broken. Though the girl might not have said it, Asahria had always known. The fact that she brought it up now only served to verify it. Give him enough time and he will have to come back… or seek him out if you must. He can’t avoid you forever Leah. Especially if he knows how much this is hurting you too. At least he is here, you have the chance to fix this. The blonde’s next words caught Asahria off guard. She found that she felt slightly defensive on the topic. If not outwardly, then certainly inwardly. It wasn’t something she’d ever given real thought too. I mean I don’t know. She admitted, wringing her hands together suddenly feeling very vulnerable. I’ve never really thought about it before. I just know that there was no one else like him Leah, ever. I don’t think I truly felt until I met him. It’s like life isn’t really complete without him. She sighed having admitted it, he was what was missing, had always been missing. Are you saying that you thought you might marry Rue? she questioned, suddenly curious to the full extent of Leah’s emotions. Tags: -- Leah | Words: -- 838 | Credit: 156zcm of Caution Notes: No worries darling. I felt inspired... so quick reply outfit

[leah marie gore]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away

[atrb=width,240] Leah knew her words were affecting Asa as soon as her fellow blonde pushed her plate of uneaten food away. Leah swallowed thickly, instantly feeling horrible for having brought up her issues to someone who was suffering just as much as she was, for a much longer period of time at that. Honestly, though, Asahria was the only person Leah had right now. And, deep down, maybe this was what Asahria needed. As much as she didn’t admit it, Asahria was still suffering horribly over what happened with Charlton. The two of them had a poisonous relationship, and yet they couldn’t be any more perfect for each other. Leah began playing her fingers under the table, trying to avoid the gaze of her broken friend. Asahria’s wall was breaking down now, and Leah felt horrible for having been the person to do it. Maybe Asahria wasn’t ready to talk about it and Leah’s problems somehow managed to strike a match with her. Forgive me because I know this may sound dim and it may be the last thing you want to hear right now, but at least you have the opportunity to recognize he still cares. Leah looked up at her friend shocked because it said so much about how Asahria was feeling with so little words. Leah really felt bad now. She never knew how “lucky” she was to at least have Rue close to her with the chance of working things out while Charlton was off who knows where, far away from the girl who loved him. Im going to admit something to you right now and it hurts because hearing you say it…I think I’ve messed up too. I’m scared I’ve lost Charlton, for good and it was all my fault. I didn’t tell him where I’d gone when I went home either and now he’s gone and for all I know he isn’t coming back. Leah caught the tears fighting to escape her eyes but Asa, being the strong girl she was, wiped them away for Leah could even say something. Her arm wrapped instinctively around her friend’s thin shoulders, trying to bring some level of comfort to the girl. These two girl couldn’t be anymore of a mess, it seemed. The two of them had kept their feelings bottled up for way too long and now were unloading everything to one another and it was just one big pile of emotions right now. At least they had each other though; the two of them understood each other’s feelings about their respective situations better than anyone else could pretend to. ”I hate you break it to you, Asa, but Charlton didn’t exactly try to mend your relationship either, you know? You may feel as though you broke his heard and caused all this, just like I do, but there is only so much you can do. Charlton needs to be the one to reach out to you now,” she told her simply, letting go of her friend and placing her hands in her lap once more. Asa went on to explain how Leah at least had some sort of hope in knowing that she brightened Rue’s face when he saw her, but it wasn’t enough for Leah. She had been through way too much with him and her past relationship to even consider that hope. But she said nothing, knowing that Asahria wasn’t quite finished with explaining he own situation. I’ve never really thought about it before. I just know that there was no one else like him Leah, ever. I don’t think I truly felt until I met him. It’s like life isn’t really complete without him. Are you saying you thought you might marry Rue? Leah let out a small, nervous laugh. ”I did. And it’s stupid to even think about giving how wonderfully my last marriage turned out,” she said sarcastically. ”But I feel like you feel about Charlton. What I had with Daniel was nothing like what I had with Rue. But that being said, Rue has broken my heart more times than I ever thought possible. Daniel did nothing wrong except die when I had decided to give him everything I had. Daniel never cheated…Rue cheated. Did you know that? Twice to be exact…”

[/b] she trailed off, trying not to think about it, but unable to contain her thoughts. A married woman and his best friend. Rue had messed up more than Leah ever had…


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and again. I ranted on and on. Sorry!

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TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

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[asahria ryek']

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:5px; padding-top:5px; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px; background-color: #575757; border-radius: 100px 0px 100px 0px;] asahria ryek "Im nothing more than a chalk outline" It was as though dam she’d built so carefully had been suddenly swept away in the throes of a violent rainstorm. Everything she’d been holding back for so long had just poured out of her, the sudden weight of it all too heavy to keep back any longer. It had all happened so quickly. Asahria couldn’t believe she’d finally spoken the words which had been dammed up inside her for so long. Ever since her return she’d been secreting her pain away, back in the deep recesses of her mind, and now it was simply pooling out of her. Never one to speak her emotions, Asahria was surprised at her own words. Leah had always been one of her closest friends and Asahria had always told her everything, but it had always been in due time and never without some emotional pull from her friend. It just seemed that their struggles were so close. Speaking about Rue and Leah just brought everything else rushing forth – all the scars and pains attached. She hated to tell Leah that everything was going to be okay, because she knew that right now it wasn’t. She was sure that Leah was drowning in emotions, just as she was herself. Still it didn’t seem right for her to give hope. Charlton had broken her heart time and time again – if not broken than bruised. Yet still she had taken him back, she’d always taken him back. Asahria knew that at the end of the day his happiness outweighed any amount of pain he could put her through even their lowest moments being worth the heights of ecstasy that they experienced in one another’s arms. How could Leah possibly sit here and believe that things would be alright when Asahria knew that she too had been in the same place and thought so similarly. Rue was here though and no matter what pain it might give her there was something in knowing she brought that slimmest bit of pleasure to his eyes. I don’t mean to say everything is going to be alright. She said simply, it was the truth. No one knew any more than the next. I’m just saying that love like that doesn’t slip through your fingers so easily. It will always come back to you. Even though she wasn’t sure hers ever would. Perhaps it had slipped through their fingers one to many times. Asahria smiled briefly as Leah wrapped her arm around her slight frame. The two girls needed comfort now more than ever, having returned and being met with such harsh realities. Was it not enough that they had suffered in their time away? In turn she grabbed her friend’s fingers, squeezing them reassuringly. Right now they were all the other could rely on, their ragged emotions laying out in the open. It hurt to see her friend suffering so much, but it seemed that their experience was all they had to offer. Somehow the two of them would make it through this. Perhaps Rue and Leah would find their way back together. If it were meant to be it would happen. Maybe Asahria would finally have the chance to move on. What other choice did she have? Rumors told her that Charlton had left shortly after herself without a word. Asahria didn’t think it was likely he was coming back – not this time. ”I hate you break it to you, Asa, but Charlton didn’t exactly try to mend your relationship either, you know? You may feel as though you broke his heard and caused all this, just like I do, but there is only so much you can do. Charlton needs to be the one to reach out to you now,” She merely nodded as Leah pulled away. She suppose.d it was much the same situation as Leah was in, but it didn’t relieve her of any guilt. Maybe she needed to follow her own advice and give him space – not that she had any other option. I just feel terrible. As I’m sure you know.. She voiced softly. It wasn’t so easy to break communication for the one who cared so much for you, yet both Leah and herself had left them behind without so much as a breadcrumb to follow. It’s just… well you know that Charlton and I hadn’t even sorted everything out. I’d barely even spoken to him after he came back. He hardly even remembered who I was. I left him in the middle of trying to figure things out. He probably thinks that this is what I wanted. What else could you expect? I left when he needed me most. The enormity of it all hadn’t really hit her until speaking with Leah just now. Not only had she left him, but she couldn’t even be sure he remembered everything from before. She wasn’t entirely sure what all he had gained back after his accident. Asahria hadn’t stuck around long enough to find out. Tugging her fingers through the strands of her golden hair she turned her attention back to Leah as a panicked laugh escaped her lips. I did. And it’s stupid to even think about giving how wonderfully my last marriage turned out, But I feel like you feel about Charlton. What I had with Daniel was nothing like what I had with Rue. But that being said, Rue has broken my heart more times than I ever thought possible. Daniel did nothing wrong except die when I had decided to give him everything I had. Daniel never cheated…Rue cheated. Did you know that? Twice to be exact…” Asahria bit her lip surprised at the girls sudden confession. She’d always known Leah to care about Rue, but she’d never known how much. She doubted that Leah had even said as much to the boy himself. She felt a pang of empathy when she talked about Rue having cheated on her, having had it happen once before, but never with Charlton. The hurt had been sufferable from Nathaniel, but he wasn’t the one she loved – not truly. Asahria couldn’t imagine being dealt that pain from the one who outshone all others. With those words and her feeling out in the open, Asahria had never felt closer to Leah. They would always be bonded in this she knew. I didn’t know that Leah. I’m so sorry. She spoke hesitantly. She of all people hated being pitied, but she knew that this wasn’t a pain that was easily forgiven. Leah was still healing or she’d never have mentioned it. There was nothing that could make that right, but still for some forsaken reason Leah still loved Rue and that was something that Asahria could understand. Our hearts were never to be the smarter. There is a reason we love with our hearts and not our head. If that had been the case, she’d never have had the opportunity to experience love like she had. Her head had screamed no, but her heart had tempted her otherwise. We can’t help who we love. Rue cheating on you isn’t something that can be overlooked and it’s only up to you whether or not it’s forgivable. No one can take that choice away from you, but you have to make the choice for yourself. You can’t be bitter about it if you want him back. It is something you have to both forgive and grow from. What is it that you want? You can only go from there? Tags: -- Leah | Words: -- 1253 | Credit: 156zcm of Caution Notes: I ranted too... a lot! outfit

[leah marie gore]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away
[atrb=width,240] The two of them were pretty much a mess with more problems than anyone could ever possibly have. If there was one thing Leah learned from having friends such as Asa was, no matter how terrible you thought you had it, someone almost always had it worse than you. Asa’s love life was just as complicated as Leah’s, if not more, only because it always had been that was. Leah was incredibly close with both Asahria and Charlton, but Leah always felt as though Charlton was way too wild for her blonde friend. He was a lion that could never be tamed; Asahria never gave up on him though. Regardless of how she was feeling, Leah knew Asahria would never give up on Charlton. With a relationship like theirs, it would have to be something pretty bad to make Asa give up. It’s just… well you know that Charlton and I hadn’t even sorted everything out. I’d barely even spoken to him after he came back. He hardly even remembered who I was. I left him in the middle of trying to figure things out. He probably thinks that this is what I wanted. What else could you expect? I left when he needed me most. Leah frowned as her friend spoke, hating that she was blaming everything that happened on herself. ”But that’s just it. You tried to figure things out. I left to try and figure things out too. If they can’t forgive us for that, are they truly worth it?” she asked, trying to once to take her own advice. If Rue couldn’t forgive her for leaving when her mother died, regardless of how it was that she left, maybe he wasn’t worth it. She had chosen to be with him because he had been so understanding of her past and what she was going through in her present. Leah was in a vulnerable state and she needed people, true friends, who were going to put up with her emotions and help her make it through. Rue was off licking his own wounds without trying to see if Leah was still hurt. It all made so much sense now and it took talking to Asahria to come to the light. I didn’t know that Leah. I’m so sorry. Leah shrugged her shoulders, waving off her friends apology. Honestly, it was nothing to apologize for. Leah was over it. We can’t help who we love. Rue cheating on you isn’t something that can be overlooked and it’s only up to you whether or not it’s forgivable. No one can take that choice away from you, but you have to make the choice for yourself. You can’t be bitter about it if you want him back. It is something you have to both forgive and grow from. What is it that you want? You can only go from there? Leah nodded, knowing her friend was absolutely right…as always. ”I forgave him when it happened. It’s just knowing he did all those things that I forgave him for and that he’s not willing to forgive me for my actions is unfair, don’t you think? I mean, it honestly makes me realize that maybe he’s not worth my time anymore. I want to move on and I want to just let what happens happen. If he comes to the point where he wants to talk, I will be there with open ears to hear what it is he has to say. But until then, what do I truly accomplish by moping around? Nothing. I need to just let it go,” she said, feeling like she was giving herself a pep talk instead of talking to her friends. She sighed and grabbed her plate closer to her, finally getting a little bit of her appetite back. She took a bite of her food and chewed, watching her blonde friend as she did so. ”What is that you want?” she asked once she had swallowed her bite.	[atrb=width,140] words , eight hundred tagged , asahria outfit , outfit notes , i know it’s not my best, but I wanted to get a reply up for you!
[cs=2] TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

[asahria ryek']

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:5px; padding-top:5px; padding-right:5px; padding-bottom:5px; background-color: #575757; border-radius: 100px 0px 100px 0px;] asahria ryek "Im nothing more than a chalk outline" It was hard coming back to school and seeing her friend in such a state, though Asahria knew she wasn’t much better off herself. She’d been putting on a show for everyone else, smiling and acting as if everything was okay. The act was wearing thin though and she knew she couldn’t fool Leah, no matter how good an actress she might be. The time away had been hard on both of them and coming back had not been easy. Maybe it would have been better off for them to begin anew, but instead they were back at Beauxbatons having to face their problems head on. Their problems were so similar, yet so different. Asahria couldn’t help but feel for her friend, once widowed and now feeling the pain of possibly another lost love. She couldn’t imagine the pain of it all. One was heart wrenching enough. That’s true. You’ve done all you can. Asahria said exasperated. Leah had at least made an effort to reach out to Rue, but what had she done. Absolutely nothing, that’s what she’d done. After realizing the extent of her mother’s illness she had all but fled to France, leaving not so much as a word for anyone. Perhaps, it isn’t worth it. If that’s how you’re feeling then maybe it is time you moved on. After all if he can’t forgive you then you deserve something better. She stated. Part of her desperately wished that she could say the same, but she knew she couldn’t. Not until she’d tried to make amends, but as it were she wasn’t even sure where to start. The thing is… I haven’t even given Charlton the chance to forgive me. I’ve no idea where he is. I’ve seen tail end of him since I’ve returned. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Asahira had to stifle a giggle at the thought. She wasn’t sure if Leah knew about Charlton being a werewolf, but the words suddenly brought the memory rushing back and she couldn’t ignore the irony there. Shaking her head, her smile faltered as her blue eyes turned towards Leah. I don’t really know what to do. Following Leah’s lead she pulled her plate back towards her idly picking at its contents. She was still hungry and she doubted she’d be able to hold off eating for much longer. Asahria kept her eyes on her plate, but listened as Leah continued to speak, acknowledging each word carefully. Maybe letting go would be best for the both of us. she muttered simply. She knew such a thing would not be easy for Leah, but at least she had the conviction to accept it. Asahria did not. As much as she had been playing it off Charlton still had firm grasp on her heart. It was trapped in a concrete case and was not going to budge for any other suitor – not until his hold finally wore away. Though I will say this, do what you want, not what you feel you have to. If you feel it’s time to move on, then do it. We both know there are a good many handsome gentlemen here who’d be more than willing to sweep you off your feet. She said smiling, with a playful nudge. Leah needed to know she was worth something and Rue hadn’t done much for her self-esteem What I want… she questioned. I’m not sure that really matters with Charlton being gone and all. She shrugged, pushing a slice of ham across her plate. It taken her too long to realize what it was she’d wanted. She’d been scared off by Charlton’s amnesia, thinking maybe he’d be better off if she didn’t let him get to know her again. It may have been the healthy choice, but every fibre of her being wanted the exact opposite. I’ve changed. I just wish I would have seen it sooner. I was so afraid to do wrong by everyone else that I forgot to think about me. Charlton has been the only thing I’ve ever wanted and I walked away instead for someone else. I left him behind thinking I’d done the best thing. I was wrong, terribly mistaken. I’ve no choice but to move on now. I left and he made his decision. What is there left for me to do? The question was more rhetoric than anything else. She knew she had to move on. If anything she’d been reckless about it, but she knew no other way to react. It was the only way to keep him out of her head. Aren’t we just tragic? she laughed, pushing her blonde curls behind her ear. While it was necessary she hated that the two of them were in such a hard place, after having been out of each other’s company for so long. We’ve really got to find a way out of this rut. She was tired of being sad and lonely and she was sure Leah felt the same. Tags: -- Leah | Words: -- 833 | Credit: 156zcm of Caution Notes: pish posh, it was lovelyoutfit