COME BACK AND HAUNT ME [alegra]

[HYO JOON NAM]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] COME UP TO MEET YOU, TELL YOU I'M SORRY, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LOVELY YOU ARE tell me your secrets and ask me your questions, OH, LET'S GO BACK TO THE START. It had been months since he had turned into a vampire and ever since he had kept avoiding Alegra, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to control himself if he was around her and he was extremely afraid she would get hurt or in the worst scenario end up dead. Finally he had learned to stop himself from attacking people randomly, although not perfectly, but he felt like it was safe to finally try to reach out for Alegra and apologize for his behavior. He really did feel bad about it and saying sorry was a really hard thing to do. He wasn’t sure if she would forgive him. Not many times did you hear him apologize anyway, it wasn’t his style. Always he would find an excuse why not to apologize and why he shouldn’t feel regret at all, but this time he knew that even if he came up with some kind of reason he still should apologize; it was the right thing to do. Alegra deserved an apology. He went to Owlery as he didn’t have his own owl. Thank God for that though, because he could have eaten it during his struggle days. Animal blood didn’t smell as good as human blood which why he found it relatively easy to go to the Owlery, not worried at all that he would drain a single one of them dry. It didn’t smell too good anyway in there actually. The mix of owl blood and their droppings didn’t really feel tempting which why he actually covered his nose when he went there. Ugh, why did he have to have a better sense of smell now? The smell was horrible. He definitely wouldn’t be drinking any blood that day. This took away his appetite. He found a cute Little Owl which stood at about 9 inches that right away brought a soft smile upon his face as he saw it and decided that he would send her on its way to Alegra. “You’re cute.” He smirked at the Little Owl that just stared back at him with eyes wide open before Hyo took a piece parchment out of his pocket, deciding to read it one more time before sending it: Dear Alegra, I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now, but I would be incredibly thankful if you let me explain myself to you. Face to face. Would you please meet me at the empty classroom in the fourth floor ASAP? I’ll be waiting. Love, Hyo Joon He frowned a bit at it, but felt like he couldn’t write any better and that it would have to do. He was terrible at writing letters. Oh well, at least he would give it a shot. Gently he wrapped the letter around the Little Owl’s tiny foot before smiling at it once more before sending it on its way to Alegra. He let out a deep sigh as he heard the door being opened and watched a few giggling students walk in the Owlery as well. He smiled slightly at them before making his way out and towards the empty classroom he had mentioned to Alegra. It didn’t take too long as he already reached the room, pushed the door open and took a step inside. Phew. He didn’t notice anyone there of which he was incredibly glad, because otherwise his plans would have gotten messed up. Students often hanged out in the empty classrooms after all, especially if they were doing some kind of school projects together. He walked over to the last desk row and chose to sit on one of them that was closest to the window, so that he could look outside. The weather was wonderful; no snow left on the ground anymore, clear blue sky and sun shining brightly. Finally it was spring. He pushed one of the windows open in order to hear the birds sing, tilted his head and let out yet another sigh, this time because he was getting nervous. What if she wouldn’t come? How long would he wait? He would wait for more than one day possibly. He didn’t need to rush after all, because he had all the time he needed. He would last a week without drinking any blood so perhaps that should be his limit. Even if it would get boring he would stay there for one week to wait for Alegra to arrive. If she didn’t… Well, then the answer was clear. She wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore and he wouldn’t blame her. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - tag: alegra | words: 766 | wearing: this music: the scientist | notes: waah, sorry if it's super lame XD credits: sanni

[alegra bell]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard and got so far. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Alegra was just writing her name and the date on the top of her homework when there was a small tap against the window of her dorm. She looped the last two L's of her surname before looking up at the cute little owl that Hyo had just sent to her. She didn't recognize it, so curiosity struck as she went to let him in. “Hmm..” she said to herself as she unrolled the piece of parchment. Dear Alegra, she read. Well the writing looks familiar. I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now... Ahh, it's from Hyo Joon. Who else would it be? She stared at the first sentence as a mixture of feelings flooded her emotions. Naturally she began to contemplate. Face to face, huh? He promised an explanation at least and she had been waiting for one for months now. Okay. She stared down at her homework and decided she could leave it for now and go meet him. She picked up her quill and wrote “OK.” on the other side of the letter and stood before her own owl, but decided to leave it and just go and meet him. The empty classroom on the fourth floor wasn't too far from her dorm after all. It shouldn't take so long as to make him believe she wanted nothing to do with him. No. She had been wanting to talk to him face to face for a while now. She had been patient. It wasn't easy, but she had been. She never rushed him. She never liked the idea of being needy, it made her feel uncomfortable. She sighed and placed the letter in her pocket before pulling on a sweater and her boots. She was out the door in minutes. She'd be lying if she said the thought hasn't crossed her mind to be petty and make him wait. But it wasn't in her nature to be that small minded. Maybe she had just been waiting around for too long. Could she forgive him? Probably. For some reason, as she walked down the halls of the palace, Alegra began to feel anxious. Her mind, naturally, was flying a mile a minute. She almost wished she could master her clairvoyance powers, were such a thing even possible, to simply know what was in that boys heart. Could there be love there? Had that changed when he was attacked by that demon? Or was there even a possibility of love in the first place? She didn't know anymore. Things had changed. A lot. She watched him die, and she watched Nyu Ri bring him back, then she worried her little heart out to the point where it drove her nuts. Of course it was distressing that she was confused by all these feelings while Hyo already had so much to deal with. Really, after dying, his girlfriend should be the last his worries, right? She could understand that. She tries to. Butcan two people truly ever be happy together forever, or how about even the short, natural human life span? She hasn't witnessed it herself. Alegra frowned at her own thoughts. They were pretty sad. She inhaled deeply and began to fiddle with the sleeve of her sweater, her fingers, her hair. Did she brush her hair? No she didn't. Did it look stupid? She bit her lip and made a face as she walked. She could see the door to the empty classroom. He was sitting in there, waiting for her. She paused outside the closed door, generally just putting herself together before she turned the knob. She poked her head through the door, and her blue eyes fell on him immediately. “Hyo Joon?” She said, her voice a lot softer than she intended. Not that she was trying to sound harsh, she was actually just trying to keep everything normal. She looked at him for a few heartbeats, taking in his appearance, his demeanor, his expression. She cleared her throat and stepped in, looking out the window and around the room as she crossed it. Her breathing was rather steady, and she finally looked at him again when she was within arms reach. It just occurred to her that she probably should have kept her distance for him. She's met her fair share of vampires, older ones at least, and she knew the effect her fairy blood had on them. How long does it take for them to gain self control? It never occurred to her to ask before. Would it be appropriate for her to hug him? What should she say? There was no doubt about it, her uncertainty was as plain as the nose on her face. HYO JOON. 799. OUTFIT. TEMPLATE BY OH SO COOPERNATURAL ! @ CAUTION.

[HYO JOON NAM]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] COME UP TO MEET YOU, TELL YOU I'M SORRY, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LOVELY YOU ARE tell me your secrets and ask me your questions, OH, LET'S GO BACK TO THE START. Ever single second that passed he became more worried. He kept checking his watch and he was sure the hands weren’t moving the slightest; that’s how slowly the time was passing by. When he was sure 10 minutes had gone by already it had only gone forward two minutes. It felt insane. Had he ever been this nervous about anything before? Maybe when his parents were planning divorce for the first time. He had been so nervous and worried that he had even thrown up a few times. But that was long time ago and he had been a kid back then still. It had been understandable. And although he didn’t feel like throwing up now he was still extremely agitated. He couldn’t help but to wonder if this is how it was supposed to be. There were times when he believed in God and times when he didn’t at all, especially what happened during Halloween. If the party had been held elsewhere and nothing bad would have happened back then… would he and Alegra be in a better place? In his mind they could be even engaged by now, perhaps. He had always cared for her a lot after all. His thoughts got soon interrupted as he heard the door open and quickly he looked away from the window and met eyes with the young, beautiful lady that he had been expecting. Suddenly he felt surprised that she had showed up. For some reason he had been sure that she wouldn’t. He had completely forgotten how stunning she was even if her hair was a bit messy at the moment. That actually made her just look more cute or even, did he dare to say, sexy. Her hesitance didn’t escape him and he felt his heart rise all the way to his throat and he started feeling incredibly guilty; what had he done to her? How badly he wanted to hug her, hold her rightly, but he couldn’t. He knew he would lose control, wouldn’t he? He had hugged his friend, Aislin, but that wasn’t the same thing. With Alegra everything was different. What he felt towards her was completely different to what he felt towards others. He gritted his teeth tightly together as he tried to get a hold of himself and keep himself restrained, but without noticing it she had moved closer, but she hadn’t said a word. Once she was right in front of him, so that he could almost feel her warm breathe against his skin, he finally as if woke up from his thoughts and pushed the desk he was sitting on a bit back along with himself, so that they wouldn’t be so close. Finally then he realized that he hadn’t said a word either, not even ‘hi’. He was too stunned to talk. “I-I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized for moving away. “I still can’t be… too sure…” He didn’t finish the sentence as he felt he would just make things worse. This wasn’t how he had planned this to go. He had imagined that he could at least take a hold of her hand and explain everything to her while smiling, hoping that she would smile too, but none of that was happening. This was going all wrong. “I’ve learned a lot, but not enough.” He started again and quickly added, “But I will in time. I promise. I’ll learn to control everything properly. Maybe not as well as Calcifer, but still…” Now he smirked a bit, because of the mentioning of one of the L’Armour brothers. That old grumpy vampire… Would he one day be just like him? He hoped not. He didn’t want to be just glaring at people and being mean. Well, at least Calcifer was good to Penelope. He wanted to be just as good to Alegra. The thing was that Penelope was a vampire as well while Alegra had fairy blood in her instead. That made things quite complicated for him. But he would try. He would try his very best if he still had a chance with her. “How have you been?” Hyo Joon spoke softly while keeping his eyes on her, not only because he felt like he needed to make sure of her every movement, so that he wouldn’t do something that he couldn’t ever take back, but also because he wanted to. He hadn’t seen her in a long time and he had been missing her so much. Part of him was sure she would soon turn around and walk away for forever which why this could be the very last time he could look at her. “Have you been healthy?” The vampire wanted to know, although he found it incredibly stupid and wrong to ask; what gave him the right to know such things about her anymore? Exactly, he didn’t have any rights. The Cossu male swallowed a bit loudly without meaning to and hesitantly looked away outside of the window as he started to get nervous again. If he was still a human his heart would be beating uncontrollably fast and he would die of a heart-attack, that’s what he believed. “Look, I’m sorry, Alegra. I’m really very extremely sorry about… everything. I never meant to hurt you.” He looked down at his feet for a moment, but then gathered his courage and looked directly at Alegra. “I’m so sorry. If I could take it all back… if we could go back to planning the Halloween party and we could decide to have it elsewhere… somewhere safe… I would do that. Or… even if I would have turned into a vampire… I should have still at least written to you, shouldn’t I? Keep some kind of contact. But I was a coward and scared. I kept my distance.” He looked desperate as he tried to find the right words and how to explain everything. It was far more harder than he had believed that it would be. Would she believe that he was being sincere? “I didn’t want you to get hurt. I couldn’t control myself. I kept my distance towards everyone close to me… You, Jae Syun, Aislin…" It was all true. The only ones he had kept contact with was Drystan, because he kind of forced him to help him out and for God knows what reasons he accept his help, and then there was also Rachele who had helped him out, because she was a vampire as well, but been one a bit longer. "Ah, it was easy when it came to my parents, because if I’m here I can’t see them anyway. I’ve not told them. I can’t. Especially not to my grandmother…” He had two grandmothers, but he was quite sure Alegra knew how much his father’s mother meant to him. He fell silence after that, not able to utter a single word while he looked down at the floor again. It was true that his mother and father could probably handle the news, but he was 100% certain his grandmother could not. He had decided not to ever tell it to her, no matter what. It would destroy her and that way also him. “I know you might not be able to forgive me, but I needed to explain everything. Face-to-face and not on a written letter.” She deserved that much. How awful would it have been if after this long time he would have just written a letter and explained himself in that? It didn’t feel right that way. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - tag: alegra | words: 1255 | wearing: this music: the scientist | notes: Ah, it was kind of hard to write this one ]: credits: sanni

[alegra bell]

Alegra had noticed the surprise in his face but had looked away before she could notice the guilt that seemed to build up inside of him. She could feel it in the air, but she was too overwhelmed with her own many emotions to pay attention to what her clairvoyance was trying to show her. When she stood there before him, she couldn't help but take it personally when he moved his desk back. She raised her eyes as he did so and finally met her bright green eyes with his dark ones again. His eyes... they looked different. She might have been a little hard to read right now, but her eyes glistened ever so slightly with the promise of tears. She nodded when he said sorry. She could understand that.. The clairvoyance did help, but she was not a vampire and cannot say she understood completely. But she did try.

She glanced up again when he began to explain, and rose her hand to stop him. "It's okay," she said with a nod, trying to be encouraging. "You'll learn.. with time.." She tried to think of something else to say, but she couldn't. He had mentioned Calcifer, and that had... made her think of his younger brother... Niklas... She looked away, aware that Hyo Joon didn't even have a clue about Niklas, and how he made her feel. She frowned, and bit her lip when he asked how she had been doing. She couldn't answer, couldn't find anything to say, because a whole flood of thoughts came in at once with that one simple question. How had she been? Well, it's been complicated. An emotional roller coaster.

The silence seemed to stretch as she fought for the right words, or where to begin. How had she been? Emotional. Lonely. Tired. Then hopeful again, thanks to Niklas, then guilty for feeling that way. Because she really liked Niklas. He was there when Hyo Joon wasn't. When Hyo Joon had been too incapable due to his own, extreme, vampiric problems. Why couldn't she fix this? Why did she have to fall for someone else in such a difficult time? She felt horrible. 'Have you been healthy?' Hyo asked. The somewhat random question gave her pause, but she did say "Um.. yes, I guess so." She watched him as he swallowed loudly and turned away. She opened her mouth to say something else, but he began to talk again, so she shut her mouth; She listened with a sad expression on her face.

After he had finished, she stared at him for a moment, searching for words yet again. "Yes, well.. I am glad we are getting this chance to talk.. in person," she managed to say. She paused, looking down at her hands again nervously. She waited until she could talk clearly, and not with a tremor in her voice. She needed to be strong. "There's nothing.. we could do to change the past, is there? And it's not.. your fault.." She said, and sighed. "It's not your fault," She repeated, looking down at the floor. "You didn't ask for this..." She mumbled. It was the demon's fault. Or was it fate? Destiny. It was hard to say... She thought of Niklas again, but didn't know how to bring it up, or what to even say about it. It's not like the two were.. officially together.. or anything. A single tear crept it's way out of one of her tear ducts, and she wiped it away quickly, hoping it wasn't noticed. "Did you.." She spoke slowly, her voice soft, "Did you.. get help? Was there anyone to help you with... all this?" She gestured both of her arms toward him. She began to notice some differences in him then. His skin was more pale, somehow more beautiful. He looked stronger, and yet more graceful.

"... Did you get a chance to talk to your friends yet?" She asked, thinking of Jae Syun and Aislin. They were good friends to him. Of course he had a great many friends, but those two were whom he spoke of most.